We’re the ones who have watched grandmothers sob when told their child is now in America.
We’re the one who have seen falsified documents with our own eyes. Documents that claim this parent is dead when they’re standing right in front of us.
We’re the ones who have sat with adoptive parents and begged, begged them, to reconsider. Because those children? Their mom is right outside and she says she wants her babies back.
We’re the ones who have seen an aunt pick her niece up from the orphanage after she was kidnapped and the orphanage was told she was a cut and dry abandonment case. The little girl was on the list to be adopted, and now she’s home with the aunt who searched for months to find her.
We’re the ones who have seen fathers cry with joy when reunited with their children who got lost in the system. Children who were already matched with an American family.
We’re the ones who have sat across from a mother who says, “I would have kept my baby if someone, anyone, had offered to help me keep her. I was just too poor”
We’ve seen children stolen and birth families coerced and money exchange hands and false documents written up. We’ve seen it with our own eyes.
And yet you don’t listen. You don’t believe us.
Us, who are on the ground. We are being called liars and cynics and exaggerators and ones who don’t really care about children.
I get it. I really do. You believe your adoption is different [and oh I so hope it is]. Your agency is legitimate. Your lawyer is honest. You want to believe what you’re told by them, and so you do. And you silence us. Because our experiences and our stories? They make you doubt. And you can’t doubt a child you’ve already birthed in your heart.
I believe in adoption with all my heart. I think it is an incredible and beautiful way to make beauty from the ashes. But this corruption? It’s eating away at the system, it’s eating away at birth families left childless, and adoptive families left in grief- adoptive families who were trying so hard to do it right- and children. The children. They’re always caught in the middle.
I want it cleaned up. I want the children who truly need international adoption to be the only ones leaving this country. I want birth families who can be kept together left intact. I want the corrupt lawyers and orphanage directors and government officials to stop making money off of shattered families. That’s why I speak out.
That’s why I wish people would just start listening.
Because, don’t you see? I’m not anti-international adoption. My actions and words are fueled by my belief in international adoption as an important option for children who have no other chance at a family. This corruption is going to get things shut down. It’s going to make it so that none of the children who need international adoption will be able to have it. It already makes it so that healthy babies that could be placed here and children with families that love them are flown to America, while the special needs kids and kids who really are orphans are left behind. If we are truly in this business to help kids, which I think many of us are, that should make us so angry.
Something needs to change, and I believe we can all be a part of that change.
See part two here.